Wednesday, July 6, 2011

I'm not hard on myself. No, Not at all.

I have a really hard time being happy with myself.

I always feel that I'm not good enough. I'm not a good enough mom, student, sister, friend. I'm not thin enough. I'm not pretty enough. I'm not smart enough... you get the idea
I have a hard time accepting that people might genuinely like me, or accept me for me and not have some kind of hidden agenda.
I dont often see any good qualities in myself.

So recently I decided I should try to change the things I don't like, that I have control over.
But damn it's hard.

I've been trying to lose weight, but I'm definitely an emotional eater, and I eat when I'm bored, and I eat when I'm happy... okay so I basically eat every second of everyday.
And I do really well for like 6 days and on day 7 I sorta fall off the wagon, but I go to bed saying I'll do better tomorrow. and then I don't and then 4 days later I'm still trying to get back on that wagon. I suck.

I don't know why I struggle so much.

Lets hope I can start over tomorrow. Try number 405,230,650

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